I remember this moment in the TV show "How I Met Your Mother", where the lead character was doing everything he could to hold on to the dream of being an architect. His friend had pointed out how this was killing him, this dream... how tightly he was holding on to it... this is an overall theme of the show. Dreams... and letting go of them. When Ted Mosby finely let go of his dream of being an architect... life brought it to him... When he let go of his dream girl Robin... life brought him his dream girl in Tracy. It's not uncommon for me to identify with this character... and today... that feeling... the idea of letting go.

 

When I finally let go of what I thought was my dream girl.... the real thing appeared. I've been so in love that I found it hard to write about love.... and you all know.. I love writing about Love. But I was too busy living it... and keeping it all to myself. I often kid with my girl friend about our cocoon of love.. where we wrap ourselves in each other and share our moment with no one. I thought maybe I could only write about a love that hurts, that's painful... because that is what I knew... and it was my brand...

 

I held on to this idea of the lonely writer for so long... and when I let it go... I found the words did not let me go... I simply went from writing for an audience of many... to an audience of one. I felt as if I was speaking only to her now.. and whether I shared it with any one else... was my choice.

 

Choices and dreams... that is all we are really.... and our dreams shape our choices... and our choices shape our dreams... I have dreamed a dream... and I have watched my choices reshape that dream... maybe even wipe away certain choices... whatever dream I chase next... whatever choices I make... one thing remains true...

 

The Innocent Thoughts of a Guilty Man.... marches on.

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September 4th, 2024